Debora Kelly
Columns
November 27, 2008 12:06 AM
Deborah Kelly
So sick. I pwn it! lol computrs r not 2 bad 4 kidz imao.
My children spend countless hours on the computer, “chatting” with friends in a tortured version of the English language and, in my 16-year-old son’s case, also visiting favourite websites.
And sometimes — so they insist — doing their homework.
“Get OFF the computer NOW,” is a constant parental refrain in our home.
My husband will refuse to acknowledge this, but new research says all this time on computers, and playing video games, texting on cellphones and using iPods, is actually crucial to our children’s development as socially well-adjusted adults.
Whaaat?
My husband the Luddite wants to throw out the computer, seriously, while I — the voice of reason — have insisted digital media is an essential communication tool for our children’s generation.
Within limits, of course.
That’s where the battleground lies for so many families; how much time should we allow our children to be absorbed in technology?
Where’s the balance between digital socialization and real-life, face-to-face interaction?
We intuitively feel our kids’ “obsession” with digital media isn’t good, mostly because it means they’re not spending time doing other things we think are important, such as homework, physical activity and being with family and friends.
This is new parental territory and we’re trying to do what’s right for our children.
The tragic situation involving the death of 15-year-old Brandon Crisp, who ran away after his parents banned him from online gaming, highlights the intensity of this situation in many homes.
According to the three-year, $50-million study by the MacArthur Foundation, kids aren’t just wasting their time, but are gaining technological and literacy skills needed to succeed in the contemporary world.
Researchers spent 5,000 hours interviewing 800 American teens.
Apparently, our kids are doing online what we did offline. (Now I’ve really got you worried!)
While we gathered with friends at the park, on the corner, plaza or skating rink, and talked on the phone for hours, our kids are hanging on Facebook, MSN, MySpace and YouTube.
My 12-year-old daughter carries on instant messaging conversations with six people at once, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she pecks out things like: IMFAO yeah i am, ahaha, your just jellious :P.
“It shows that parents of my generation have to let up,” says Paul Gillespie, president and CEO of the Kids Internet Safety Alliance and a father of two teens.
“I think we really have caused more concern than necessary.”
I’m going to show my husband the study results so I can say, “See?”, but it won’t change much in our house.
Studies say children aged nine to 17 spend more than six hours a day watching TV, playing computer or video games, surfing the web and participating in other forms of media and I’ll make sure my kids don’t even come close to meeting that statistic.
They’ll still hear, “Get OFF the computer NOW.”
And they do. They play sports and spend real time with friends and even family — though my son’s cellphone rarely leaves his side.
I’ll be involved — as in real life, I know who their online friends are and what they talk about.
I’ll monitor online safety and set “screen time” limits.
While studies like this may be some reassurance to parents trying to find the right balance between children’s digital media use and other pursuits, no expert is saying they should have unfettered access to technology.
We’re right to trust our instincts on that.